I’m one month into this project and it’s time for a little self-evaluation. A progress report of sorts. First, let’s take a look at what I’ve completed that was on my list.
Start a blog. Because writing gives me perspective.
Run a 10K.
Learn to cook treasured family recipes. And share them with my family.
Put down my phone. I’m way too attached. It’s a problem.
If you read my post last week, you know that I had to move this one up the list. It turns out a lot of you guys also struggle with phone distraction and it was encouraging to feel the “we can do this together!” vibe in the comments. I’ve made some strides this week, but I haven’t been perfect. I’ve successfully cut the phone out of my bed time and morning routine and it has made a world of difference! I am getting a lot done in the morning and I’m sleeping better. I’ve also done a mostly good job of keeping my phone in the kitchen, especially when my dudes are home. The exception to this was Sunday. The boys were gone at the park and I was lazy and tired and I spent A LOT of time mindlessly trolling the interweb. But I am typically lazy on Sundays so I didn’t feel bad. But then the boys got home and we were watching football and I didn’t put my phone in the kitchen and I could not stop picking it up. I finally realized what I was doing and put it away. It’s a process…I’m getting there.
Now let’s talk about what else is happening.
I was looking at my list yesterday and realized that even though I’m working on the fifth item on my list of 40…I’ve actually begun work on so many more. I’m a big believer in putting out there what you want because it makes it real and it attracts attention and it gets your attention and then it becomes an actual thing. It’s like the simple act of writing it down and sharing it has brought it to the front of my mind. I’m more aware of these things and why they’re important to me so I’m more likely to take action. I’m seeing spaces where I can find time for things that are important to me and I’m seeing pathways that either weren’t there before or, more likely, I never noticed.
You can see from my list that there are a lot of things I want to do and change. Here’s what else I’m starting to work on from the list.
Read a book already. How much Netflix can one person watch?
I’m reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown this week. I literally had to put it on my calendar chapter by chapter because if it’s not on a list and scheduled, it does not exist to me. It’s the perfect homework for me for this project. In the introduction, there is a paragraph that talks about the practice of framing parents as good mothers and fathers and as bad ones. Brown says that the real question should be “Are you engaged? Are you paying attention” and this is what I needed to hear. Which brings me to…
Be present and engaged with Little C. I’m going to need some rules for this one.
I think reducing my phone distraction by default makes me more present and engaged with Little C. But I know I want to move this up the priority list as well. I feel like I spend so much time trying to distract him while I try to get things done and then there is the guilt about not spending quality time with him along with the frustration of not getting things done and feeling overwhelmed by life. The times that I’ve been able to stop and say to myself “Give him your attention now. This is more important than your to do list.” have been rewarding in so many ways. I get to enjoy time with the sweetest 3-year-old boy on the planet. He feels loved and valued. We both have a lot of fun. As a result, I don’t feel guilty doing chores and saying no to playing Legos and he is content to play without me for a while. But I’m not gonna lie…being present and self-aware is not my default state. My default state is looking at memes on Facebook and not thinking about anything. There is still work to do.
Stop interrupting. Sometimes I can’t stop myself.
I’ve been way more conscious of this lately. I have been thinking about listening and really hearing what someone is saying instead of just waiting (or not) for my turn to talk.
Lose another 20 pounds. Stop driving myself crazy and change my focus to being healthy and strong over being skinny.
You may recall from my post a few weeks ago that I’m really trying to focus on health and strength over skinny. I had a good week of working out and mostly eating well and then HALLOWEEN. And then life. I stand by my statement that goals without joy are not good goals, but I may need to redefine my goals. I am a creature of planning and planning requires rules. Rules like “don’t eat all the candy” or “do you really need another bowl of pasta?” or “why did you even make pasta in the first place?”. Wait, I don’t think those are rules so much as me shaming myself. So I’m clearly still driving myself crazy, but I’m not giving up. Or giving in. I am going to be healthy and strong and NOT crazy, DAMN IT! I originally had this on the schedule for week 13 which is in January. Yeah, no. It’s getting moved up to next week because I want to give it some attention. But first, let me eat the rest of those mini Snickers I hid from my kid.
Make plans more often with my girlfriends.
I’ve got happy hour dates, comedy show dates, and even workout dates planned. Yesssss.
Date my husband.
If you follow 40 Reasons on Facebook or Instagram, you may have seen my post about being gifted a 4-hour window of childcare recently. Our weekend was crazy busy in a good way with visits from old friends, family pictures, and the usual weekend chore list. We were so close to using our child-free time to do laundry, clean house, etc. We opted for a 2-hour hike followed by cold beer and snacks and it was absolutely the best choice. Being able to talk about things that aren’t “where did you put that?” and “did you do that yet?” was awesome and much needed. And the laundry still got done.
Create a community.
The 40 Reasons community may be in its infancy but I love hearing from you. I love that there are other women and men that want some of the same things I do and are encouraging each other to get after it. I’ve got some things coming up that I want to connect with you guys on and I can’t wait. Stay tuned!